little girl lost

as a child, I had hopes and dreams and thoughts and feelings.
I have felt complete love and utter despair and I have hated and lied, cheated and cursed.

when my mother passed away, in 1992, I literally felt that the foundation of who I was had been blown to bits.
I know I was loved, by my husband, my children, my siblings…..but the person I felt I was crumbled a bit when my mother left this earth.

sometimes I still feel like that little girl.
I still feel lost and unsure and question every movement I make.
Most of the time I’m clear headed and very sure of everything but once and a while…I feel like I’m still lost…..that the foundation that once was will never be mended enough to make me feel that security I once felt.
I have a different foundation now….but it isn’t the same as the one I had when I was younger and my mother was here.

At 46 how can I still feel like I’m that little lost girl?
Mid life crisis?
Or am I losing my sanity?